Hey mamas. Making friends isn’t easy. It wasn’t easy when we were in high school and even though all (or most) of the pettiness has faded into the background, it’s still just as hard to make friends today. What’s the issue? Well, between the kids, the hubs, the home, paying the bills, who has time for friends anymore? Or even the brainspan to have a quality conversation? Still, once in awhile, we just need a pal. You know, that person who knows what you’re thinking with just a look? It’s still possible! That special person is still out there! Here’s how to meet her:
Remember: Friends don’t fall from trees.
You know what they say! If you want a friend, be a friend. You know what that means? Don’t sit around wondering why no one talks to you. Hey Mama, it’s time to make the first move. Step up and start talking, girl! If girlfriend doesn’t open up and start talking too, maybe she’s just having a bad day. If you strike out a second time, maybe she’s just not interested in being friends. Oh well, her loss. Who’s next?!
“Be kinder than necessary”
My mom-in-law has this quote over her living room and it is my absolute favorite! An easy way to think of how to be kind to others (if you’re having trouble getting started) is to ask yourself, “What is something that would totally make my day?” Then do that awesome thing for someone else. The degree of kindness can change depending on how well you know the person. You’re not going to ask a complete stranger if you can babysit her kids for her. “Ummmmm… no thanks, and stay away.” Try just holding a door first and giving a real compliment. It might be all you need to open the doors of a beautiful friendship! Who wouldn’t want to be friends with someone who’s thoughtful and nice like you?!
Make room for activities
If you’re any bit as awkward as I am, you know that sitting down, staring someone in the face, and trying to make decent conversation can be… difficult. Do moms even have the attention span for that?? Instead, grab the kids and do something useful together (like wearing out said kids). Invite another mama to the park or gymnastics center and offer to bring coffee. If you did this for me, we’d be best friends real fast.
You scratch her back, she’ll scratch yours
Hey, friendship doesn’t have to be totally selfless. As much as it would be great for two mamas to sit, grab a coffee, and gab together, it’s much more likely that what your mom-friend really needs right now is a cohort ready to swoop in and save the day when she’s-a-fumblin’. And you’d be lying if you said you wouldn’t want that either. But in this day and age, it’s hard to ask for help! I’m here to give you permission. Do it. Ask for help! And then in return, offer help. And let them know you’re totally serious. Sometimes we mamas need the extra push to know it’s OK to accept offered help. I’m telling you, it’s ok. It takes a village!
So, lady, how do you make friends as a mom? How have your mom-friends swooped in and saved the day for you??
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ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Chelsea Damon is a writer and a mama who is passionate about coffee, joyful marriages, healthy lifestyles, and Dwell + Slumber! You can read more of Chelsea's writing on her blog, Living the Sweet Life.